The clue is in the title. Well, not actually cos we’d probably die if we did that for a full month. But we are going to be looking at sex, sexuality and specifically female pleasure in the coming (geddit?) weeks because we’re female and we like pleasure. Tenuous, you may think, but we’ll counter that with: a. it’s a home blog and we’ll warrant that’s where you’re getting the majority of your bump and grind on, and b. it’s a headspace blog and sex is something that can really mess with your positive vibes if it’s sub-par. So we’re going to speak to some experts, test out some gadgetry and show you how to slip the sensuality into your home without resorting to a sex swing*. Come join us for our bluest conversations to date. To kick things off, we’ve pulled together a list of the 10 best sex-positive things happening right now.
*unless you want a sex swing, of course.
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The Ziggy Mooncup
All hail Intimina – they’ve created a mooncup you can wear during sex. Yes, period sex. It’s a thing and we all know it. Sometimes it feels good to bone when you’re on, and it’s awesome to have the option without your bedsheets looking like there’s been a murder. For anybody unfamiliar, you use a mooncup instead of tampons for waste-free menstruation. Intimina have designed the flat-fit Ziggy to give protection for every flow from light to heavy – you just pop it in and away you go.
Dedicated Bedroom Days
We don’t mean you have to be at it all day long but sometimes setting the intention of connecting with your erotic side is half the battle. With only a few additions, you can transform your bedroom into a potential pleasure palace. You will need a. fresh bedding b. a series of activities, whether that’s a Netflix (and chill) marathon or a Twister tournament c. a picnic d. probably some nudity. Side note: it can be hella fun to work the sexiness into your daily routine, picking up some lingerie in the supermarket for a spot of spontaneous joy. Half the fun is doing your own sexy version of Supermarket Sweep.
Here’s a bunch of words you never thought you’d see together: tantra exhibition at the British Museum. But it’s real and it’s happening, and there’s nothing about Sting and Trudy in sight. In fact, as the website says, ‘Centring on the power of divine feminine energy, Tantra inspired the dramatic rise of goddess worship in medieval India.’ Most people we’ve spoken to say that tantra in sex is more about connection with your partner than it is holding on until you jizz your pants. If you can’t wait until April to explore tantra’s spiritual and sexual mysteries, you can always book yourself onto a workshop or retreat – we might see you there.
You’ll have guessed this is Robyn based on that pun. I have a variety of leather and vinyl skirts cos it makes me feel hot as shit to wiggle about in them, pretending I’m Maggie Gyllenhaal in The Secretary. But I’m ready for the next step and William Wilde is it. Think kink with class and and fashion-forward pieces for those who want to flirt with a little latex-play. It’s beautiful, flattering, comes in all the best colours and will make you feel like an absolute goddess just ask Kylie Minogue, Poppy Delevingne or Violet Chachki.
Sex parties are much more than pampas grass and keys in bowls nowadays. They’ve gone upmarket and there really is something for every taste. If you want a luxe, Made in Chelsea-esque party then go for Killing Kittens or if you’re after a fairly gentle introduction to fetish, Torture Garden takes place on a big enough scale that you can easily remain a wallflower. If you’re a Grade A hipster there’s Crossbreed, a kink-positive record label and rave which boasts not just a playroom but a wellness sanctuary ‘in case you feel overwhelmed at any point, need a hug, or just need to take a few minutes out to sit in quiet and have a cup of tea’ – lost me at rave, hooked me back in with tea and a hug.
Both in real life and in book form, thanks to The Hotbed Collective, who’ve written a whole book about that very thing. If you haven’t listened to their podcast yet, do. And if you fancy a ‘Couch to 5k for orgasms’, get the book. Funny women talk about empowering female sex – what’s not to love?
Brain Training for Better Sex
If you don’t follow Dr Karen Gurney yet, you definitely should. She’s a sex therapist freely sharing her immense knowledge for all the ‘gram to see, and it is wonderful. She runs the Havelock Clinic in London, and on their website you can take courses to help with your sex life. As the How to Train Your Brain for Better Sex course page says, ‘The evidence is strong in sex research that how our bodies respond to sex depends on how much attention we are able to pay to sex, and the types of thoughts which run through our minds’. Perfect for busy people who struggle to switch off and turn on.
Emma: Redefining Sexy
As somebody who loves beige, there’s not a whole lot of sexy lingerie that I love. Red lace has its place, but if I wear something like that it’s very much for the other person and not so much for me. So this month I shall be redefining what sexy is, and looking out for pieces that combine my love of minimal everything with a hot hit of look-at-me. Thank goodness Net-a-Porter have started stocking The Great Eros. HIGH WAIST WHITE PANTS, GUYS.
Robyn: Redefining Emma’s Redefinition of Sexy
I know Emma loves beautiful, tonal underwear that make her look like a 90s Calvin Klein model but this bitch over here ain’t ever going to feel comfy in an all-white ensemble. I feel best when I’m playing dress up and performing so this cute and colourful underwear by Dora Larsen is the perfect blend of richly saturated, delicate and impeccably made. It makes me love the way my boobs look and that’s the definition of sexy, right? Really digging your own vibe. I shall be digging myself for the foreseeable in these beauties.
Getting Away From it All
You might want to wait to get Valentine’s out the way so you are paying eighteen times over the odds for a hotel but getting out of the day to day doldrums can be just the thing to get you going. Whether that’s a bracing outdoorsey holiday to Another Place in the Lake District, a cosmopolitan break to Artist Residence in Brighton or jumping the Eurostar to Paris and pretending you’re Natalie Portman in the Darjeeling Limited at Hotel Raphael, having a change of scenery is sometimes the sexiest thing you can do.
Bonus 11th Thing: Wanking
It feels good and costs nothing – go enjoy yourself, for yourself with a little one-on-one.