How the heck do you even deal when somebody you love is having a massive struggle? Do you talk to them about it? Stage an intervention? Keep quiet in case talking about it makes things worse? Get them drunk? Take them on an intensive silent retreat? We don’t have anywhere near all the answers, but we do have a video camera and our own experiences. We’ve also hooked up with Beth from Let’s Talk About Loss for some expert advice on helping somebody who’s struggling at this time of year because of bereavement. Beth spoke to some of her followers for their tactics too, so here’s saying an ginormous thank you to everybody involved, and hoping that this post helps you help your best ones.
Beth Rowland, 24, Founder of Let’s Talk About Loss:
However you find Father’s Day this year, and whether it’s your first Father’s Day without your Dad or your 51st, it’s going to feel strange and confusing. Don’t try and fight that, or pretend it’s a normal day. Embrace the day and turn it into a special one of remembrance, whatever that looks like to you. Whether it’s getting outside, doing something creative, listening to his favourite music or anything else, do something that reminds you of the happy times you had with your Dad, and it’s just about guaranteed to make you feel closer to him. The day will never be easy but it doesn’t have to be horrible. And remember that you are not alone.
Find more support from Let’s Talk About Loss
Rachel C:
This will be my second Father’s Day without my dad. This year I decided to go on holiday, I’m off to Lake Como. To remember Dad we are going to hire bikes and go for a cycle, then have a picnic with his favourite foods, and top it off with some ice cream. Perfect.
Anonymous, 26:
Father’s Day is horrible and I hate all the emails and adverts so much. I try and avoid everything – I won’t be on social media, I unsubscribe to lots of emails, and I try and just ignore everyone shouting IT’S FATHER’S DAY at me. It’s just a day once a year to get through and by protecting myself from the marketing-shouting, I can get through it.
Joe, 29:
On 11 July it will be three years since Dad’s death. Father’s Day is a bit more complex now too as this will be my second as a Father myself, which presents a really weird mix of emotions. Cariad Lloyd is so right when she says grief and parenthood are so strangely close. It helps me to talk and write about my grief, so I hope sharing this might help someone out there to feel they are not alone. Anniversaries are always tough.